Shut up, I hate you!
Just so we get this straight from the start, I bleed Phillies. Ya know that obnoxious asshole that spills a soft drink on the little kid wearin the Mets jersey, or that fat idiot that tosses dollar dogs onto the field after a bad loss? That's me. So don't come here with your buttoned down, old man, painfully square bullshit an give me a hard time. I'm a hardcore phan and if helpin my team win means runnin out onto the field and jabbin some guy's eyes out wit a Citizen's bank Park supplied spork, toss me a bottle o' hundred proof liquor and slap my ass for luck!